Thanks, Dad

[lawnrrd]

When my brother didn't call me back last night, I figured that our father wasn't in immediate danger. I just got off the phone with my brother, and I was right. A blood test in the emergency room last night revealed a simple cause for the disorientation and blackouts: my father's blood alcohol was "off the chart."

He has always drunk more than was good for him. Whether he's an alcoholic is something you could quibble about, but it never interfered with his job and he never took out a family of four with a Buick. So I never put much energy into deciding whether the label really applied.

The doctor last night told him to cut way down (but not to quit cold turkey, for fear of serious withdrawal symptoms); at age sixty-four, he should not be drinking to the point of blackouts. And normally he doesn't, but he's reacting badly to his wife's absence. For her part, she's coming home tonight, a day early.

I suppose this is some twisted kind of good news. Drunkenness wears off overnight; Alzheimer's does not. Still, my dad has had memory problems. At the very least, he's badly depressed, and there were enough sigs of problems before that they had scheduled an MRI.

Thanks to everyone for their good wishes.

On the plus side, my wife's sister delivered a baby boy by caesarean section this morning. Mother and child (and father, for that matter) are reported to be doing well and provide a welcome distraction from my failure to produce grandchildren.

Comments

[starkyld.livejournal.com]

siblings & siblings-in-law are good at providing distractions like that.

unfortunately, i'm the oldest by 12&1/2 years.
fortunately, my parents feel that i'm in no condition to breed & have actively discouraged me from it at every juncture.

[terrilyn.livejournal.com]

provide a welcome distraction from my failure to produce grandchildren

Is that due to your choice, your wife's choice, or some deities choice? (By diety, I mean, is yer plumbing fuxored?)

If it's due to your/your wife's choice... fuxor them. You don't owe them grandchildren any more than I owe my family/inlaws any offspring. There's really too much pressure put on couples nowadays to procreate. We started getting it after being married a year and a half... (Never mind that we were both under 24 years of age, still a long way off from graduating Purdue, and just barely fiscally solvent for two... ) People have finally quit asking me and realized that if it's to happen, it will be at our time.... (most likely not at all right now, because there's no way we're having kids till our college loans are paid off!) They'll cope... really.

But, if it's due to fuxored plumbing (and you really do desire children)... there are great things to be said about adoption. Hell, while you're at it, provide a home and love for a child who wouldn't otherwise get it. An african-american baby born to a crack mother needs love and security too! (For an example. I'm not advocating that's what you should get, but geeze... there's too many of them and not enough adoptive parents willing to take them on. Like, just because they're not the same color or perfectly healthy, they're less worthy as humans....)

Anyhow, there's my erm, $.02 per side of the issue.... :)

Do with it as ye may.

[melonaise.livejournal.com]

My coworker has managed to adopt two healthy babies from non-crackhead mothers who were also of the same vague ethnicity (Caucasian-ish). There are plenty of reasons to want a child of your same general appearence, especially in the South. Anyway, my point was that if you go through private agencies, you may have to wait awhile (it took 3 years for them to find their second child), but you can have a lot more control over who you adopt from and the health of the child (all other factors aside, crack babies tend to not be very healthy).

With their first child they got to know the mother during her pregnancy (17 year old who accidentally got pregnant but didn't want an abortion), made sure she got good prenatal care and really wanted to give her daughter to them. With their second, it was a very last minute thing-- the baby had just been born when they got a call one morning asking if they wanted a son. They have a live-in nanny who takes care of the baby during the day, since they both have full time jobs.

Re:

[terrilyn.livejournal.com]

I know that there are reasons for wanting a child that looks like you, etc.

I was just saying that there are plenty of children out there that would greatly benifit from a home and love that wouldn't generally get it otherwise.

I know that if for some reason, (not likely) clayman and I decide that adoption would be a way for us to have a family, that we're not extremely adverse to a child of a different race, or that might have some issues otherwise.

But, diapers make me squick out so I can't imagine ever having to be in charge of said details......

(Ugh, I freaked out enough when I got carsick on the driveway and my shoes*.... I can't imagine cleaning up after someone ELSE!)

*We had just been out for the evening, driving around the dark countryside in search of random gas station to get drinks at, etc... started feeling off on way home, got home but couldn't make it to the bathroom.

[lawnrrd]

Well, it's mostly due to my not wanting to. My wife, on the other hand wants children for some reason, and I agreed to it before we got married. Her clock is running, and she would like to be pregnant by the end of the year.

<gallows-humor>So I guess she really ought to put some effort into going out and meeting more men.</gallows-humor>

Seriously, though, biology puts enough pressure on us; I'd just rather not have to deal with family, too.

Whether the plumbing works properly is another issue altogether. I have no reason to expect problems in that department, although a recent test indicates that my wife carries a harmful recessive gene. Which means I have to get tested to see if I carry it too. It's a rare one, but I don't know what we do if the dice come up snake eyes.

Re:

[terrilyn.livejournal.com]

Erm, sperm donor?

Egg donor?

Both donor?

*shrugs*

[sykii.livejournal.com]

That's all really hard, and while one could never quantify it against Alzheimers, I understand both your relief and your consternation from parallels in my own life.
My best to you.

[lawnrrd]

Thanks for the thoughts.

I just got off the phone with my stepmother. Their circumstances make it hard for me to talk to her alone--she is never home alone, and my father's always next to her on the sofa. But we're going to sneak off together at Passover, I think, and try to come up ways to deal with this.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Very sorry to hear it; I wish you and your father the best.

[lawnrrd]

Thanks very much.