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  1. Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child (re-read)
  2. Rick Atkinson, The Guns at Last Light
  3. Jonice Webb, Running on Empty
  4. Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
  5. Rudyard Kipling, Kim
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  1. Gordon S. Wood, The Radicalism of the American Revolution
  2. Terry Pratchett, Eric
  3. Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures
  4. Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
  5. Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
  6. Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms (re-read)
  7. Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
  8. Terry Pratchett, The Shepherd’s Crown
  9. Terry Pratchett, Wintersmith
  10. Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight
  11. Terry Pratchett, The Shepherd’s Crown
  12. Terry Pratchett, Making Money
  13. Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
  14. Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
  15. Terry Pratchett, Maskerade
  16. Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  17. Terry Pratchett, Night Watch
  18. Adam Higginbotham, Midnight at Chernobyl
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  1. Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson, The Illuminatus! Trilogy (re-read)
  2. Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
  3. Sam Wasson, The Big Goodbye: Chinatown and the Last Years of Hollywood
  4. J. Michael Straczynski, Becoming Superman
  5. Paul Bowles, The Sheltering Sky
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  1. Kevin Wehrbach, The Blockchain and the New Architecture of Trust
  2. Roben Farzad, Hotel Scarface: Where Cocaine Cowboys Partied and Plotted to Control Miami
  3. Frederick Douglass, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
  4. Wednesday Martin, Untrue
  5. Amanda Palmer, The Art of Asking
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Happy new year, everyone! I rarely make new year's resolutions, but I’m giving them a shot this year. I resolve to: (1) get to bed on time; (2) stop using the snooze button in the morning; and (3) meditate more regularly. It’s worth a try.
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  1. Agatha Christie, The Murder on the Links
  2. Agatha Christie, The Mysterious Affair at Styles
  3. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Le Petit Prince (in French)
  4. Niall Barr, Eisenhower’s Armies
  5. Agatha Christie, The Murder of Roger Ackroyd
  6. Jim Butcher, Storm Front
  7. Agatha Christie, Poirot Investigates
  8. Melanie Swan, Blockchain
  9. Jim Butcher, Fool Moon
  10. Jim Butcher, Grave Peril
  11. Jim Butcher, Summer Knight
  12. Jim Butcher, Death Masks
  13. Jim Butcher, Blood Rites
  14. Herman Melville, Moby-Dick
  15. Mikhail Bulgakov, The Master and Margarita
  16. George Pendle, Strange Angel: The Otherworldly Life of Rocket Scientist John Whiteside Parsons
  17. Rick Wilson, Everything Trump Touches Dies
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  1. Alexander Rose, Washington’s Spies: The Story of America’s First Spy Ring
  2. Alistair Horne, The Age of Napoleon
  3. Patrick O'Brian, Blue at the Mizzen
  4. Angus Konstam, Horatio Nelson
  5. Len Deighton, The IPCRESS File
  6. Len Deighton, Horse Under Water
  7. Len Deighton, Funeral in Berlin
  8. Len Deighton, Billion-Dollar Brain
  9. Znex Jvfrzna, Zvaq Cynl
  10. Len Deighton, Berlin Game
  11. Colin Woodard, The Republic of Pirates
  12. Umberto Eco, Baudolino
  13. Andy Weir, The Martian
  14. Paul Johnson, Churchill
  15. David Halberstam, The Best and the Brightest
  16. David L. Anderson (ed.), The Columbia History of the Vietnam War
  17. Rudyard Kipling, The Man Who Would Be King
  18. Carlos Bueno, Lauren Ipsum
  19. H.R. McMaster, Dereliction of Duty
  20. Jonathan D. Sarna, When General Grant Expelled the Jews
  21. Agatha Christie, And Then There Were None
  22. Edward O. Thorp, A Man for All Markets: From Las Vegas to Wall Street, How I Beat the Dealer and the Market
  23. George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones (re-read)
  24. George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings (re-read)
  25. George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords (re-read)
  26. George R.R. Martin, A Feast for Crows (re-read)
  27. George R.R. Martin, A Dance With Dragons (re-read)
  28. Elfriede Jelinek, The Piano Teacher
  29. Sarah Waters, Tipping the Velvet
  30. Christopher Hitchens, The Trial of Henry Kissinger
  31. Tim Weiner, One Man Against the World: The Tragedy of Richard Nixon
  32. Bob Woodward & Carl Bernstein, All the President’s Men
  33. Neil Gaiman, American Gods (re-read)
  34. Martin Millar, The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf
  35. Joe Haldeman, The Forever War
  36. Connie Willis, Crosstalk
  37. Connie Willis, Blackout
  38. Connie Willis, All Clear
  39. Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man
  40. John A. Farrell, Richard Nixon: the Life
  41. Carlo D’Este, Eisenhower: A Soldier’s Life
  42. John Scalzi, Redshirts
  43. John W. Dean, Blind Ambition: The White House Years
  44. Bill Kreutzmann & Benjy Eisen, Deal: My Three Decades of Drumming, Dreams, and Drugs with the Grateful Dead
  45. Margaret MacMillan, The War that Ended Peace: The Road to 1914
  46. Jack Kerouac, On the Road
  47. Max Hastings, Inferno: The World at War, 1939-1945
  48. Neil Gaiman, Norse Mythology
  49. William Poundstone, Fortune's Formula: The Untold Story of the Scientific Betting System that Beat the Casinos and Wall Street
  50. Ian Graham, Scarlet Women: The Scandalous Lives of Courtesans, Concubines, and Royal Mistresses
  51. Alison Weir, The Life of Elizabeth I
  52. Dava Sobel, Longitude
  53. Blair Jackson & David Gans, This Is All a Dream We Dreamed: An Oral History of the Grateful Dead
  54. Michael Keane, Patton: Blood, Guts, and Prayer
  55. Michael Pilhofer, Music Theory for Dummies
  56. Diane Johnson, Into a Paris Quartier: Reine Margot’s Chapel and Other Haunts of St.-Germain
  57. Agatha Christie, Murder on the Orient Express
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I just brought my list of books read up to date. I'm on a pace to double last year’s count, which was itself the highest since I started keeping track. (I think.)


It feels odd, though, to think of the books at the beginning of the list. I read them only a few months ago, but it seems like such a long time.

Moving

May. 1st, 2017 12:43 pm
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Like many who are troubled by the updated LiveJournal terms of service, I have created an account on Dreamwidth and imported my LJ. Posts should appear on both sites, and if you still happen to be reading this, feel free to comment on either site.

This is especially galling because I bought a permanent LJ account many years ago, but it's not as though I post often anyway.
lawnrrd: (kitty)
  1. William Shakespeare, King Lear (re-read)
  2. Cevaprff Xnyv, Rabhtu Gb Znxr Lbh Oyhfu: Rkcybevat Rebgvp Uhzvyvngvba
  3. Isaac Asimov, Foundation
  4. Robert Ludlum, The Bourne Identity
  5. Isaac Asimov, Foundation and Empire
  6. Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel’s Dart
  7. Isaac Asimov, Second Foundation
  8. Isaac Asimov, Prelude to Foundation
  9. John D. MacDonald, The End of the Night
  10. Jack Nicklaus, Golf My Way
  11. Isaac Asimov, Foundation and Earth
  12. Adam Hochschild, King Leopold's Ghost
  13. Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
  14. Isaac Asimov, Foundation’s Edge
  15. Jeff Gramm, Dear Chairman: Boardroom Battles and the Rise of Shareholder Activism
  16. Frank Herbert, Children of Dune
  17. Gordon S. Wood, The Radicalism of the American Revolution
  18. James Lee McDonough, William Tecumseh Sherman: In the Service of My Country: A Life
  19. Richard Henry Dana, Jr., Two Years Before the Mast
  20. William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury
  21. Patrick O'Brian, Master & Commander
  22. Patrick O'Brian, Post Captain
  23. Patrick O'Brian, H.M.S. Surprise
  24. Patrick O'Brian, The Mauritius Command
  25. Edwin Lefèvre, Reminiscences of a Stock Operator (annotated edition)
  26. Alexandre Dumas, The Three Musketeers
  27. Peter McPhee, Liberty or Death: The French Revolution, 1789–1799
  28. Patrick O’Brian, Desolation Island
  29. Patrick O’Brian, The Fortune of War
  30. Patrick O’Brian, The Surgeon’s Mate
  31. Patrick O'Brian, The Ionian Mission
  32. Patrick O'Brian, Treason’s Harbour
  33. Patrick O’Brian, The Far Side of the World
  34. Stephen L. Carter, The Impeachment of Abraham Lincoln
  35. Patrick O’Brian, The Reverse of the Medal
  36. Patrick O’Brian, The Letter of Marque
  37. Franz Nicolay, The Humorless Ladies of Border Control
  38. Patrick O’Brian, The Thirteen-Gun Salute
  39. Patrick O’Brian, The Nutmeg of Consolation
  40. Patrick O’Brian, The Truelove
  41. Patrick O’Brian, The Wine-Dark Sea
  42. Patrick O’Brian, The Commodore
  43. Patrick O’Brian, The Yellow Admiral
  44. Patrick O’Brian, Men-of-War: Life in Nelson’s Navy
  45. Patrick O’Brian, The Hundred Days
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  1. I forget.
  2. Laurell K. Hamilton, Nightshade (don’t judge me)
  3. I forget.
  4. Neil Gaiman, American Gods (re-read)
  5. Maurice Druon, The Iron King
  6. Maurice Druon, The Strangled Queen
  7. Maurice Druon, The Poisoned Crown
  8. Maurice Druon, The Royal Succession
  9. Maurice Druon, The She-Wolf
  10. George Holmes, The Oxford History of Medieval Europe
  11. J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring (re-read) (I didn't mean to, but once I started...)
  12. J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers (re-read)
  13. J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King (re-read)
  14. Qnivq Wraavatf, Fxvasyvpxf
  15. Ernest Cline, Ready Player One
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  1. Paul Tough, How Children Succeed
  2. Lois McMaster Bujold, Memory (e-book)
  3. Lois McMaster Bujold, Miles in Love (e-book)
  4. Rory Miller, Meditations on Violence
  5. Lois McMaster Bujold, Captain Vorpatril's Alliance (e-book)
  6. Lois McMaster Bujold, Cryoburn (e-book)
  7. Martin E.P. Seligman, Learned Optimism (e-book)
  8. Evpuneq Oebbxuvfre, Nyrknaqre Unzvygba, Nzrevpna
  9. Lauro Martines, Furies: War in Europe 1450–1700 (e-book)
  10. Peter Biskind, Easy Riders, Raging Bulls (re-read)
  11. Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon
  12. Elmore Leonard, Get Shorty
  13. Madison Young, Daddy: A Memoir
  14. Laura Antoniou, The Killer Wore Leather
  15. George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones (re-read)
  16. George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings (re-read)
  17. George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords (re-read)
  18. George R.R. Martin, A Feast for Crows (re-read)
  19. George R.R. Martin, A Dance With Dragons (re-read)
  20. Edmund Landau, Foundations of Analysis (skimmed the last third or so)
  21. Robert Graves, I, Claudius (e-book)
  22. Anapl Sevqnl, Orlbaq Zl Pbageby: Sbeovqqra Snagnfvrf va na Haprafberq Ntr (e-book)
  23. John Medina, Brain Rules for Baby
  24. Neil Gaiman, Stardust
lawnrrd: (kitty)
I got my LJ in March 2002, and one of the first people I followed was [livejournal.com profile] roadnotes. Looking back, I see that her first comment in my journal was in May 2002—I hadn’t remembered her following me back so soon afterwards. By January 2003, I was singing regularly with a group of friends, including Velma, at Rose’s Turn on Thursday nights.

That was around the time when I had just started struggling to get out of the cage I had locked myself in. Velma was a great help to me then, offering support, encouragement, and wisdom. She often reminded me that I’m entitled to try to be happy. And insofar as I have become a real, live boy, she deserves credit for helping me along the way.

But time moves on. Rose’s closed, and we saw each less often. Still, she remained a source of support and wisdom as I began to make real changes to my life. She was always delighted to hear of my progress and consequent adventures, always interested in the salacious details. After she and Scraps moved west, I spoke repeatedly of visiting her, but I never made it out that way.

In my most recent email to her, I mentioned that I’d signed up to climb Rainier next summer, and that I hoped I’d be able to visit her during the trip. Now it seems that I won’t be able to.

I missed her before. I miss her now. Rest in peace, dear friend.
lawnrrd: (kitty)

Last night I went to see Bryan Ferry. I’ve been a fan of Roxy Music and Bryan Ferry since my teens, and I’d seen him live a couple of times before. So I was excited when tickets went on sale.

Still, I paused before buying the tickets, because I wasn’t sure who I’d go with. K wasn’t interested, observing that Ferry has never written for Broadway. But VV, a friend, tweeted that she really wanted to go, so I made it happen.

I like to think I would have bought the tickets anyway and worried later about finding someone to go with.

As much as I’d been looking forward to the show, when the date came, I was a little ambivalent. It’s been a busy week, and I’m fighting off a cold, so I was tired and uncomfortable. If I hadn’t made plans with my friend, there’s a non-zero chance I would have talked myself out of going.

I’m really glad I went. They started with an old-time Roxy Music song (“Re-make/Re-model”), which got me in the mood. And the next one (“Kiss and Tell”), from a mid-80s solo album, really energized me.

The performance itself was really good. Ferry can still sing, and his backup musicians managed to be faithful to Ferry’s sound while still putting themselves into the music.

I can’t say that it was objectively the best performance I’d ever attended, but I have never enjoyed a concert as much as I enjoyed that one.1 Part of it was that it was an excellent show. But mostly, I think I was just ready to enjoy something, more ready than I’d been in years. I was finally in the right place, living the right life, listening to music that I’d loved for nearly thirty years.

For all of my ongoing issues and anxiety, I’m finally whole, and it’s wonderful.


1A very slight disappointment was the lack of showgirls. Previously when I’d seen Roxy Music or Bryan Ferry live, there had been a point in the show when two women in showgirl costumes—spangles, giant feathers, and all—came out and flanked the stage. I had been looking forward to seeing something along those lines at this concert because showgirls.

lawnrrd: (kitty)
I was thinking today about something that happened when I was a boy, maybe around 11 years old.

My elementary school was across town from where I lived. Driving directly between my house and school took about half an hour, but I normally took a yellow school bus.

I don't remember why I didn't take the bus that morning, and I don't remember where my brother was, either. I do remember that I was traveling unaccompanied to school. I think I was supposed to take a cab, and I suppose that an adult would have called it for me.

But that's not what I wanted to do. I wanted to take the commuter train that stopped behind my apartment building. I'm pretty sure that I had done it before, and I very much wanted to take it then. My mother insisted that I was not doing that, though, and that I was going to take the cab when it got there.

When the time came, I went downstairs, and I took the train.

I actually had to take the train to one station, walk a short way to another station, and then catch another train. It took longer than the cab would have.

When I got to school, the grown-ups were angry in that relieved way that I only really understand now that I'm a parent, too. They sat me down on a sofa in the school office and demanded to know why I had disobeyed and done something so foolish.

I couldn't tell them. I didn't know. So all that I did was sob uncontrollably on the sofa in the office, saying something about "the pressure", over and over.

I don't know why I did it. I don't know what "the pressure" was, either. I wish that I did, though: it was probably important.
lawnrrd: (kitty)
Last weekend’s theme was frustration.

As planned, I got up early Saturday to drive to the Gunks to climb. I hadn’t felt like going when I signed up, and I didn’t feel like going when I got up, but I went anyway. I do really enjoy climbing, I knew that if I didn’t go, I’d get annoyed with myself for pissing the day away, and I figured that I’d get in the mood once I got out there. I figured wrong.

Saturday the lawnrrd got wet )

On the frustration meter, though, Saturday was a minor blip compared to Sunday.

Sunday the lawnrrd got cryptic )

It’s been two days, and I still start to shake when I think about it.
lawnrrd: (kitty)
I have been fighting inertia for most of the summer, if not longer. I wish I could say that I've been winning. I’m sure that there was a reason for the initial slowdown, but I have no idea now what it was, and now it’s just feeding on itself: inertia leads to anxiety, which leads to avoidance, which leads to inertia. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For all that, I’m also happier than I’ve been in decades. I don’t know whether I can describe what K means to me in any kind of way that makes sense. It feels as though I’ve spent my whole life to this point trying to find a part of the world that feels as though I belong there, and now I have: it’s a bubble that has K at the center.

K and I were married in March, and she’s been pregnant for most of the time since then. The baby is due on New Year’s Day, but we both think she’ll deliver before then.

K has stepped up her efforts to break me out of my do-nothingism. At her urging, I’m getting up early tomorrow to go rock climbing—one of the few times I will have done it without her. At this moment, I think I’d rather sleep in and piss the day away playing computer games. But I know that if I do that, then I’ll be annoyed with myself tomorrow night for having pissed away the day with computer games.
lawnrrd: (kitty)
Married K.

Just got back from a wonderful honeymoon.

More later.
lawnrrd: (kitty)
  1. John Ringo, Ghost (re-read)
  2. Matthew But­t­er­ick, Typography for Lawyers
  3. Roy F. Baumeister & John Tierney, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength
  4. Aaron Hillegass & Alan Preble, Cocoa Programming for Mac OS X (4th ed.) (read the new edition to learn what's new)
  5. Gemma Correll, a cat’s life
  6. Amity Shlaes, Coolidge
  7. John le Carré, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
  8. John le Carré, The Honourable Schoolboy
  9. John le Carré, Smiley's People
  10. Barbara Tuchman, The Guns of August
  11. Christopher Hitchens, Thomas Jefferson: Author of America
  12. Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
  13. Connie Willis, To Say Nothing of the Dog
  14. Devora Zack, Networking for People Who Hate Networking
  15. Lois McMaster Bujold, Cordelia's Honor
  16. Lois McMaster Bujold, Young Miles
  17. Lois McMaster Bujold, Miles, Mystery and Mayhem
  18. Lois McMaster Bujold, Miles Errant
  19. Paul Johnson, George Washington
  20. Mario Puzo, The Godfather
lawnrrd: (kitty)
Hello, LiveJournal! It's been a while. The only way that I was able even to start this post was to give up on the idea that I could catch up, so I won’t even try. The highlights, though, are:

  • I’m still not dead. I’m actually reasonably healthy and quite happy.

  • K and I are still engaged. We still plan to marry in March 2014. Now you know roughly as much about our wedding plans as we do.

  • The boy is doing well. He is nine years old and in fourth grade. He does fourth-grader stuff.


Last weekend, I think I set a personal record, in that, for three nights in a row, I attended parties with cocktails and passed hors d'oeuvres. I am a sucker for cocktails and passed hors d'oeuvres, so I consider that a big win.

Thursday night was a cocktail reception for the opening of AMNH’s Poison! exhibition. The evening began with a slide presentation that I arrived in the middle of—the second half, at least, was interesting and entertaining. We then walked through the exhibit itself, but it was hard to see anything: the space was filled with the sort of people who would go to the opening of an exhibit in a science museum, which meant that we had to wait a long time to get close enough to any individual exhibit to see or read anything. K and I agreed that the best strategy would be to come back later when it would be filled with normal people, who wouldn’t get in our way.

The cocktail reception afterwards was moderately fun, as the museum’s exhibitions tend to be. We sort-of dodged the couple that always gloms on to us at these things. We first met another couple, who seemed to be trying too hard. After that, we chatted pleasantly with a third couple, which included a man who seemed to want me to put him through school.

Friday was quiet at work because Friday night was my firm’s annual holiday dinner dance. They like their parties at my firm, and it shows. The party was at an old private club near our office, in a beautiful old room that no one could afford to build any more. The evening is also a chance to catch up with my partners’ partners, and K came. We drank moderately, danced to the live band, and went home before we got too drunk.

Saturday itself was a busy day, during which I baked six pies for a school fundraiser. While they baked, K and I played Just Dance 4. As for Saturday night, well, that’s another post.

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