NORAD (NORth American Diaper) Command Status Chart

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POOPCON 1 CONTAINMENT BREACH: EMERGENCY HAZMAT PROTOCOL

POOPCON 2 PAYLOAD DELIVERED: IMPLEMENT SANITARY PROTOCOL

POOPCON 3 EGESTION APPARENTLY IN PROGRESS: READY SANITARY PROTOCOL

POOPCON 4 IT'S BEEN A WHILE: INCREASE VIGILANCE

POOPCON 5 RECENT DIAPER CHANGE: POOP NOT IMMEDIATELY EXPECTED