Welcome Home, Honey

Me:	There are a couple of things I want to tell you.
L:	OK.
Me:	You see this child? This child, here, the one that I was the sole caregiver for the last twenty-four hours?
L:	Yes?
Me:	I would like you to note how he conspicuously has not been eaten by dingoes.
L:	Uh . . .
Me:	Indeed, I would like to point out that he doesn't even have any bite marks.
L:	Well, whose fault is that?
Me:	*doesn't get it* *decides to move on to the next topic* Oh, there's some lobster salad left in the fridge if you want it. I bought it at Fairway yesterday morning. I wanted a lobster roll for lunch.
L:	Yum. Did we have rolls?
Me:	No, I bought those, too.
L:	Could you make one for me?
Me:	Sure, after I get the rest of your stuff out of the car. Oh, by the way, I learned something yesterday.
L:	What?
Me:	Leo is not deathly allergic to shellfish. Ask me how I found that out.