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Entry tags:
Home Alone(-ish), By The Numbers
| Hours since Mommy left for Dallas: | 41 |
| Calls to 911: | 0 |
| ER Visits: | 0 |
| Inquiries from Child Protective Services: | 0 |
| KIA: | 0 |
| WIA: | 0 |
| MIA: | 0 |
| Property damage (est.): | $0 |
| Showers Daddy has taken under the close supervision of a small person: | 1 |
| Air conditioners Daddy has moved and/or installed: | 2 |
| Books by Sandra Boynton that Daddy has read to Leo since Mommy left (including repeats): | 1 kajillion. |
| Number of hours each day Daddy would spend reading to Leo, if it were up to Leo: | 10.0 |
| VX-2Rs Daddy has bought: | 1 |
| How much Leo likes cheese: | A whole lot. |
| How much Leo likes Shropshire cheese: | Not so much. |
| Cheap floozies with whom Daddy has defiled the sacred precincts of the marital bedroom: | 0 |
| How much Daddy likes cheap floozies: | A whole lot. |
| How much Mommy likes Daddy when Daddy starts talking about liking cheap floozies: | Not so much. |
| Runs: | 17 |
| Hits: | 0 |
| Errors: | Countless. |
| Hours until Mommy returns home from Dallas (est.): | 72 |
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